control/change...

so, it gets a little confusing when you're like me and have a great love for change and the unknown... the adventurous spirit takes over and i forget to look back at what i have. but then there are those moments that i cling to what is grounded, solid and reliable. it makes for an interesting internal dialogue at times, to say the least.

in an effort to remain as self aware as possible (yes, it's happening), i'm embracing both. both. as always, the constant prospect of change at work is ever present. i wonder if i enable that because its the true nature of the job, or i just need it to be... y'all let's admit to one another, it's the latter. it's almost as though i know i cannot have complete control at work (duh), and so, if it's constantly changing and i am just one piece of the instigation of that change, then really, no one is in control. we all are. together.

last week, i wrote approximately 48 and a half blog posts in my head. i do that a lot, but usually something sparkly flies by and i forget what i meant to say. i've tried writing notes in my phone (oh my phone... rip the screen on tina sparkle... i flung her across grant avenue in north beach two weekends ago. ugh), and i've also tried keeping a moleskin handy to write things down... i'm still searching for the perfect combination of devices and accoutrements to hold myself blog-accountable.

i'm a series of tangents and digressions this morning, eh? but hey, i'm the boss around here!

so one of the 48 and half posts from last week had something to do with coffee and my newfound love of the regularity (read never-changing) schedule of my favorite barista at the shop around the corner from my house. i intended to tell you about mac, my 100% favorite barista. about our slow and continually growing relationship. he knows what i order, we both have red hair, we share a love for men in overalls (that's a good story, i promise) and he generally makes me smile. in fact, a monday is not a monday without my morning dose of mac.

but y'all... he was not in a good place today. change! what what? he did not even say hello to me today. he was far gone in a conversation with everett (my 2nd favorite barista) about his roommate's huge mural in their apartment. oh mac. here i thought we had something beautiful.

i know, i know. layla bean get to the point or quit rambling about nothing... read that one liner two paragraphs above.

my point, i'm accepting change even as it relates to the things that i rely on to be my constant, like mac. we're all allowed to have completely unaware days when we don't want to talk to other crazy red heads who order the same cup of plain coffee everyday.

at any rate. did i mention that i'm falling in love? fast and hard y'all. ha! more on that later.

all these pics are from instagram. you can follow me @laylabean. i love you. i love love. and i love weddings (i went to one this weekend).