oversleeping...

have you ever walked out of your apartment and down the stairs, with sleep still in your eyes, a ratty top knot on your head and no bra with intentions of a beautiful cup of coffee only to find a homeless man sleeping in your hallway? me too!

ok, but seriously. i live in a building with a secure door. you know, you've got to have key or have someone buzz you in. and i'll tell you, i've locked myself out twice! twice. ugh. i had to jury-rig (remind me to tell you the story of tonyguest telling me it's jury-rig and not jimmy-rig, which i have been saying for approximately 30 years. whoops) a ladder to climb up to my fire escape and break in through the window. not ideal.

at any rate, at 6:58 am, a rather stinky gentleman was 100% inside my securely locked building. it startled me. so, i woke him up and kindly asked him to move along, that this was a private building and he needed to find another bed.

oh, ya ya ya. aight. what time is it? did i oversleep?

did you oversleep?! well, yes! sir. you. did. in my secure building, you overslept on the first floor hallway stinking up the joint. have a great day.

i escorted him out the door, closed it behind me and made my way to peet's for a large coffee (where, btdubs, mac is no longer a morning barista! what?! i know. he moved to south city and the early morning commute is too much. it's awful, though i am coping. everett is taking good care of me... and impressed jordan up the wazoo when we walked in and everett had my coffee waiting for me when we got to the front of the line... oy, too many stories. i'll get organized soon-ish, though and we'll get back on track).

you guys! when i came back to my apartment at 7:07 am, the same stinky gentleman was in my building. again!!!!! can you believe it? this time he was in the hallway on the second floor. my floor. how. did. this. happen?!?!?!?!? i couldn't stand not knowing, so i asked him: how did you get in here?!?!? how did you get back into this building? who let you in? how did you get in here? (i probably shout-asked him, actually.)

sorry lady. have a great day. the door was open. sorry lady. i'm goin'i'm goin.

i mean, what? it is close to impossible to break into my building. both times i did it, i had to wait for one of my neighbors to come home, recognize me and then let me into the alley/trash area where i could scale the darn building to get in. and let me tell you... it took wayyyy longer than 9 minutes to be successful. oh. my. goddess.

there's been lots of gosspin' (that's ricky ricardo speak for gossiping, duh) since it happened. i wrote a kind but firmly worded letter to my neighbors who all responded in disbelief, except for one... hmmmmmmm.

apartment #4 said this has happened before.... that #6 is a whacko and doesn't even have a job. so that should tell you something...

i'll keep you posted.

i'm en route to mexcio. five days of playa fun. i'm planning on doing nothing but drink margaritas, sit by the water, write to you, read and do pilates and yoga with hannah, my cohort. adios. te amo. pictures from ffffound.com.