guts...

oh shit... i can feel it. something's brewing up in my belly. no. not because i had garlic and brussel sprouts last night... just that feeling in my guts. like, change. need for change. always. i know, didn't i just get all the change out of my system?

so, perhaps it's stability. could that be it? that i'm craving something solid... the need to feel safe. to feel ok.

don't be confused (big red), all is well. but maybe, in 2012, as humans, we are sort of trained to question things when they get comfortable. when all is well, we look for what's wrong. ok, change all of the we's in this paragraph to i's. 

i had dinner with my friend mia last night. we cooked and danced around to prince and simon and garfunkel on vinyl. it was lovely, really. but, as we are both sf transplants (christ, who isn't?), we had a conversation about creating circles of friends. there's all this beauty about san francisco. because most of us are wandering in from some other place, we have no one. so everyone becomes our someone. and everyone is open and welcoming to newcomers. but, there are always newcomers. so, has san francisco forgotten how to create the kinds of close-knit friendships and communities that some of us (me, mia...) are used to or perhaps, even craving?

we all know i can be a leeetle on the overly sensitive side... so i generally like to sit with these feelings for a minute or two. to see if they hold any merit, or if i'm [over] reacting to some nasty email from someone i don't particularly enjoy... patience. geez. these are days when i've been known to cut my own hair, eat the entire contents of my fridge and rearrange my apartment. i'm doing only the last. go me! except, at 7:58pm on a sunday, i've got an enormous mess in my one room apartment and i've spilled white wine on both myself and the cat. sorry cat.

oh... and if you've got any crafty projects for me, send 'em over. apparently, i've got lots of wall space and hardly anything to put on it!

i also look at blogs a lot on these days. this is my new favorite. all of the photos came from it. aren't they absolutely the most beautiful people in the world?! i always think i'd love to have friends that look like this. but, then i wouldn't be much fun... very non-interactive, as i'd be drooling at them all day long. xoxox. oh, i've got hella new music to share too... i'll do that soon, i promise.  oh, and that last photo... long hair, i think i'll ask him to marry me. i love you for reading.