rainy day behavior...

when i was a little girl, i cried every time i saw a homeless person. it gutted me to my core and i could never understand how that homeless person got to where he/she was. in the third grade i got in trouble at school for "forgetting" my lunch money every day, even though big red never once forgot to pack me a lunch... there was a homeless man living in front of the donut shop on 2nd st and i frequently gave him my lunch. i mean, as far as i could see, he didn't have a mom or dad taking care of him. and at 8 years old, it turned my heart inside out.

the sort of legendary tale from childhood was the day we saw a homeless family standing in the rain on the corner of pacific coast highway and 2nd street. we had just come from seeing a movie, all three of us, so it makes me think it must have been a big holiday, otherwise tonyguest would not be at the movies with us.

i saw the family and burst into tears. here was a family... with a mom and a dad... and a little girl. a little girl like me. with no umbrella. the sky was pouring rain on them with no umbrella. i have some quasi-memories of my mom talking to me about the nature of homelessness. the details seem fuzzy, but i guess i understood that helping could be sporadic, that i didn't have to give my lunch to everyone, or even a dollar to everyone. you sort of have to come to that kind of understanding when you grow up in long beach. oh, but this family. a family! we pulled over and i gave them my umbrella. from behind sun-chapped lips, the mother mouthed the word thank you. and the little girl looked so relieved. the father just closed his eyes.

last night i was talking to big red on the phone and she told me that when she left the market earlier in the evening a man ringing a bell outside the market was standing all alone in the rain, just ringing his bell. when she got to the car, she turned around and went back to give him her umbrella. with wide eyes he asked, really?! my mom just nodded.

then, this is what she said to me:

the world is so full of people, doing what they do. it makes me stop and take a deep breath. we are doing what we think we need to do, what we have to do to make it through the days. no wonder we bump into each other. it's so emotional.

the point? well, reciprocity has always been a personal theme for me... so i'm reinvigorating my intentions. give some and take some. give in order to take and take in order to give. mostly though, give generously.

instagram photos from users: dejiosinulu, mahessu and karyzmahh