aaaand, that's a wrap...

first there was this post, followed by this one. remember? well, let me fill you in on what's been happening...

-there was the first guy. the one who seemed great, at first. responsive, attentive, willing. and then. shut down mode got turned on. maybe we should slow down, he said. sure, i said... under the impression that he would set the new pace. wrong. complete hault, and then... where have you been? he asks. also, he smoked at least two blunts per day. blunts y'all. i thought i was the one from long beach.

-the unemployed one. it's seasonal, he said. well, season yourself right outta here please.

-the amazing one. he was funny, made great conversation, interested in art (and dance!!!!!), handsome, divorced, had a great job. brilliant. two insane dates later, i'm in a complicated situation. i'm in love with someone but we want to see multiple people, he says. avoiding a complete meltdown, i say no thanks.

but friday night was the worst date ever. i mean it. worst. date. ever. (i realize i'm going to throw out a lot of information and not a lot of context, but hey, i'm the boss around here (i'm feeling awfully feisty today)). here are some of my favorite things he said:

upon arriving: -you gonna get yourself a drink or just watch me drink mine? (he may have chuckled right after he said that, but as i turned toward the bar and considered leaving already, i was having some major internal dialogue, so i could be mistaken)

-i wish you'd brought me to a bar i'd never been to before.

-your dad fought in the vietnam war?! your parents must be soooo old.

-why the hell would i ever want to live in the city? only self indulgent fools who are still trying to live like they're in their 20's and party all the time live in san francisco. (i live in san francisco... he lives in alameda. and he's 30)

on skydiving: it was ok. not the most exciting thing i've ever done. what is the most exciting thing you've ever done? you ever gone 100 miles per hour on a [some dumb ass motorcycle]? hmmm. nope.

-i'm a caterpillar mechanic. wow, i have no idea what that means, but it sounds interesting. i dig up the earth. oh, mmm hmmmm. how'd you get into that? well i didn't want to work with wood.

-what do you do? well, i'm a dancer and choreographer. and i teach various movement modalities based on somatic systems to help people discover pain free ranges of motion. that's weird.

let's not even get started on the conversation we tried to have about monsanto. i left 45 minutes after i arrived.

ok, cupid. is. done. i'd rather sit at the bar at starbelly, by myself, read the paper and eat a burger.

i found it here. you buy one for me, and i'll buy one for you, ok? and the piccy here. chin up, cheer up.