boo boo...

you ever have one of those days when everything feels gross? i've had a couple of super good cries today. good. ones. long and hard. tony guest left today, back to long beach to be with big red. and after he walked out the door, i stripped myself of my towel (i had just gotten out of the shower), and sat down to write a real gross email. to a guy who is amazing in every regard. every. single. regard. oh, except for the fact that he is in a quasi-committed, but open, relationship with someone that he has very strong (love?) feelings for. no thanks. i wrote really nice things. not exactly what i was really thinking... i won't even write those things here... cause that's just the kind of bad karma bullshit i ain't interested in.

oh and i cried. a lot. cried all the mascara right offa my face. wearing only my undergarments. i think i'm decompressing from the best hawai'i trip, followed by an immediate road trip with tony guest, an overwhelming return to work (with all the stress it is currently involving) as well as the emotional realizations of being single and questioning all this dating in san francisco shit. and then i ate way too many bites of chocolate-chocolate chip cookie dough. what?

so, i've gotta pull myself up by my bootstraps and get rid of this self-pitying crap... jt is on his way to pick me up for the madonna-halftime-show party at jh's house.

so i made a list of the good things and the things i love in my life right now, to help me get rid of the boo boo feelings...

- hawai'i with big red and 22(!!!) teenaged girls.
- time with tony guest.
- this guy... (so loyal and totally loves me all the time, even when my salty tears are making his pretty coat sticky and matted... he stays in my lap, regardless...)

- awesome playlists with girl-power anthems.

- living in california and not some stinky town way over there on the east-coast.

- feria hair color #66, ruby fusion.

- a certain marine friend who plays the big-brother card wayyyyyy too early, but essentially scaring off any possible romantic endeavors with a certain someone. probably don't want someone who scares easily... knowwhatimsayin?!

- brussel sprouts and bacon.

- caribou antlers in my apartment.

- this new (to me) blog... i am obsessed with. 

- dance class tomorrow. thank goddess.

- you. i love you. a lot.

on a day like today, big red would say... take five deep breaths, tell yourself: all is well in my world. i have love and abundance. then put on your favorite outfit and allow yourself to have a beautiful day. i love that woman more than the sun and the moon.

piccys from ffffound.com and my photobooth.