jake and layla make a dance...

jake and i have been talking a lot lately about owning our happiness. that idea (sometimes seemingly obvious... but if you're human like me, shit. making mistakes and learning how to be the layla i actually want to be isn't always my initial reaction...) that being happy comes from being inside of what really drives you. you. not what others validate as an acceptable form of expression. doing what i need to do to be happy is key for me right now. for as much as i think i know about myself, there's always more. and i'm usually the last one on the obvious bandwagon, you know?

so, as i mourn the loss of one great pal, i've got another who is allowing and encouraging me to own the things that make me, me.

jake and i are making a dance together. yes. our friend ryan asked if it would be an adventure with a lot of spinning/twirling... he's interested in that. i think we'll have to throw some in to keep him engaged,

but seriously, we had a rehearsal on saturday. i am a better person because of it. for so many reasons. being in the studio is always beautiful/exciting/challenging. and when it's with someone that i trust and respect as a collaborator... shit is magical.

basically, we rolled around for two hours. which, isn't too far off from what we used to do back when we worked in the same building... but intentions were different. it was like being in grad school again. we played with patterns and tricked our brains into moving in ways that are not our comfortable lexicon. pure joy.

i'll post some video one of these days... for now, i'm enjoying how high it leaves me. seriously... i can feel the effects for days. owning this joy (with a little help from my friends...).

ps... for about a year now, jake has been saying this to me: i was meant to be a dancer. me too, buddy.

breaking up is hard to do...

remember that song by neil sedaka? here's the thing, it was playing in whole foods on friday while i was buying the ingredients for a meal i was preparing to make for a pal. i hadn't heard it in ages, but somehow i knew every word... i be-bopped through the produce department and even kick-ball-changed my way to the meat counter. for a song about such an emotionally taxing event, it's got a great beat and a lot of doobie doo's to sing-a-long with!

the following night, i broke up with that same pal i was shopping for... as a friend.

have you ever done it? usually, when i'm ready to be done/need to be done with a friendship, i let it fade away. cowardly really. i stop calling. i stop responding. fade.

but this time i did it. i said all the things that i needed to say. the things that i usually wish i had said when i look back at the situation.

it was awful. and arduous.

you see. i love[d] this friend. but as much as we rallied our friendship around our mutual ability to be fiercely loyal, it turns out he couldn't hold up his end of the bargain. i think he fooled himself into believing that his untruths were true. that the issues he created were actually my issues. hell. no. m.f.

my usual nature is to ignore the issues. lie to myself and pretend its all ok, because when we're together, we have a great time. it's as though i'm telling myself that having a dysfunctional friendship is better than having no friendship at all. that's dangerous. last night i picked up my bravery and said no thanks. ok, not exactly that politely... whoops.

you see, we met for drinks, ate dinner and then had one more drink. when i was in the bathroom at the bar i thought to myself, leave. you shouldn't stick around for this shit kind of friendship. tell him his behavior is not ok and get the fuck out. but i didn't. instead i went back to the bar and ordered another drink, sat down and feigned interest in whatever we were talking about.

as big red pointed out... honey, that's a line in an eagles song... take another shot of courage, wonder why the right words never come. my liquid courage came in the form of rye whiskey.

but, after he walked me home. all the right words came. well, right might not be totally accurate. i could have been wayyy more eloquent. probably, it would have been more effective without tears pouring out of my eyes... but i did say it. don't call. don't be my friend. i don't deserve this mess that you've created. 

part of me hopes that he'll come to his senses and get it together... though, the realist in me (who rarely makes appearances) knows that it's highly unlikely. i will forever be thankful for the brief bits of lovely friendship that we did share, though.

xoxo. be kind. love your friends as you love yourself. and remind me to do the same when i forget, ok? thanks. find all these pictures on various boards on my pinterest.

guts...

oh shit... i can feel it. something's brewing up in my belly. no. not because i had garlic and brussel sprouts last night... just that feeling in my guts. like, change. need for change. always. i know, didn't i just get all the change out of my system?

so, perhaps it's stability. could that be it? that i'm craving something solid... the need to feel safe. to feel ok.

don't be confused (big red), all is well. but maybe, in 2012, as humans, we are sort of trained to question things when they get comfortable. when all is well, we look for what's wrong. ok, change all of the we's in this paragraph to i's. 

i had dinner with my friend mia last night. we cooked and danced around to prince and simon and garfunkel on vinyl. it was lovely, really. but, as we are both sf transplants (christ, who isn't?), we had a conversation about creating circles of friends. there's all this beauty about san francisco. because most of us are wandering in from some other place, we have no one. so everyone becomes our someone. and everyone is open and welcoming to newcomers. but, there are always newcomers. so, has san francisco forgotten how to create the kinds of close-knit friendships and communities that some of us (me, mia...) are used to or perhaps, even craving?

we all know i can be a leeetle on the overly sensitive side... so i generally like to sit with these feelings for a minute or two. to see if they hold any merit, or if i'm [over] reacting to some nasty email from someone i don't particularly enjoy... patience. geez. these are days when i've been known to cut my own hair, eat the entire contents of my fridge and rearrange my apartment. i'm doing only the last. go me! except, at 7:58pm on a sunday, i've got an enormous mess in my one room apartment and i've spilled white wine on both myself and the cat. sorry cat.

oh... and if you've got any crafty projects for me, send 'em over. apparently, i've got lots of wall space and hardly anything to put on it!

i also look at blogs a lot on these days. this is my new favorite. all of the photos came from it. aren't they absolutely the most beautiful people in the world?! i always think i'd love to have friends that look like this. but, then i wouldn't be much fun... very non-interactive, as i'd be drooling at them all day long. xoxox. oh, i've got hella new music to share too... i'll do that soon, i promise.  oh, and that last photo... long hair, i think i'll ask him to marry me. i love you for reading.

a different camp, for different girls...

you guys, my organs are shifting again. i can feel it. it's kind of like that anxious feeling, only wayyyyy lower. deep down in my gut. there's work, and life, and love and all the unknown that comes along with it. and even though there has been so much change recently, i'm craving more. it's as though i got all changed up, started spinning on a different track, but also got flipped over. and i need just a little bit more to be on the right speed again. you know? (hey, big red... if you're reading, don't worry, all is well. i am well. just feeling reflective is all). she gets worried about me sometimes.

i've been sitting with my palms faced down in my variations of seated meditation lately... to keep me grounded. and i remembered, recently, how nothing has ever kept me as grounded as those fifteen summers i spent in vermont. thirteen of them at brown ledge.

i found this poem not too long ago. one of my bunkies re-organized the where i'm from template, by george ella lyon... to be about brown ledge. it's not a story, and probably isn't clear to anyone but a bunkie, but i need it to be here today. thanks...

brown ledge is about prayer flags that hang over the canoe dock, a brand new nalgene and table decorations.

brown ledge is about knowing every rock and root on the point; you could walk it at night, blindfolded.

it's about dirt stuck under your toenails, woodchips in your birkenstocks, dried petals from rose ceremonies past and the sweet smell of citronella and gun powder from the rifle range.

brown ledge is fred and twylla. it's the smile i recognize in maddie's face from her mama. it is eva singing goodnight sweetheart to me as a homesick ten year old, playing duck duck goo-us with samuel swift and dancing to i am a ballerina with rosebud.

it's about watching my beautiful ex-smuggs and ship ahoyians become extraordinary young women.

it's about swinging along the open road under a sky that's clear and hittin' em in the head and sockin' em in the eye, so that our bones will rise again.

it's the best of times when you watch your bunkie get her vanguard, releasing the anxiety of whether you will get yours... because at that moment, she is much more important than you. and it's the worst of times when you sing the goodnight song as a second year jc for the last time at the awards ceremony.

brown ledge is about dancing out the lyrics to your favorite song with your campers in strawberry hut.

brown ledge is about giggles, comfort, happy tears and always some sad ones.

brown ledge is the time marty promised he would shave his head and buy me every flavor of ben and jerry's if all of the theatre jc's got their sailing basics in one day. it was the most illegitimate basic of that summer, but now i know... ready to jib, jib ho!

brown ledge is my love, that is always unconditional.

brown ledge on my finger, every day.

first photo is from brownledge.org... check it out. if you have a daughter, it'll change her life. change. love you.

best...

yesterday is one for the record books. such a brilliant day. jake and i had a bunch of together time... which can generally make me nervous, but we're pretty good at being friends. probably, i don't have to worry about too much together time.

we met for coffee at philz (duh) and then hit the road for the world savvy challenge. world savvy is an amazing organization promoting students k-12 to become active, educated, participatory and responsible global citizens. read about them, for real.

so jake and i were volunteer judges for the world savvy challenge. we watched performances, looked at exhibits and observed round table discussions about the need for change as it relates to sustainable communities. what what?! ya, junior high and high school students talking about using bamboo as a resource to build houses in haiti, the epidemic of e-waste, water shortages and hunger. the performance that i didn't get to see... which was a major hit... isolationism in north korea! the musical.


i. know.

oh, and... the keynote speaker rapped beef  by boogie down productions. yes. 

yes.

a bunch of my brown ledge crew was there. that's my summer camp world. in fact, the organizer of the even is a brown ledge girl and overall brilliant genius. and jake, who knows very little about camp was thrown right into it. he's a champ, but perhaps a teensy bit overwhelmed by our rapid paced conversations and squeals over memories and summers past.

we took a break from each other, but then reconvened for PINA. you haven't seen it yet? do. it. now. a wim wenders film made with the dancers for the late pina bausch. genius. and in 3-d.

and of course i ran into one of my sarah lawrence dancers in the theatre. ok, not just any sarah lawrence dancer... but the one who danced for me during her entire sarah lawrence tenure. more squealing. more rapid fire talking. this time with wayyyyy more gestures and general wiggling. we talked about dance and movement and training bodies for movement patterns and visceral reactions to movement and how fucking scary that can be.

i have amazing friends. so blessed. so in love with it all.


be kind. i love you. piccys are still coming from ffffound.

good news tuesday...

i was just explaining to some folks that i am a fake quilter. i sew stuff together and pretend it's a quilt... but it isn't actually a quilt. it's a fake quilt... see? here it is:

fake quilt hanging on the wall. (it's hella colorful because i made it when i was living in new york and not loving that dark grey life...)

so imagine my serendipitous surprise when my dear friend sweet t posted this on the old facebook!

WHO: Rebekah Werth hosts…

WHAT: A two-part beginning quilting workshop to kick off the new year!

WHERE: Gravel & Gold

WHEN: January 19th & January 26th both starting at 7:00pm.

WHY: We will meet for two nights for about two hours each night & learn the basics of quilt construction: how to plan a design with squares and rectangles, how to cut with a rotary cutter, how to pin, how to piece on a machine, how to press. The finished quilt will be a mini-quilt, or baby quilt sized.  Quilters can complete their tops at home before the next session, sewing by hand or on a machine. Quilters should bring at least 1 yard each of 3 different fabrics that “go together” for them. One suggestion is to choose one light, one medium, and one dark fabric.

In the second class we will cover how to make a quilt “sandwich,” how to tie a quilt, and options for binding. Quilters will need to bring their completed tops, batting or an old blanket for the inside, a piece of fabric to use for the back, and a pack of safety pins. Quilters will get set up to complete their projects at home. It would be helpful if participants have experience sewing a straight line on a machine, but not necessary. This is a class for real beginners.

HOW: Sliding scale donation for instruction starting at $10. Please RSVP to em@gravelandgold.com so we can make space for you!

i've already rsvp'd. so has sweet t. and if you live in san francisco... become a real quilter with us! oh, and it's at gravel & gold, a super awesome space that i have never been to but discovered way before i moved out here. sooooooo excited!

this has nothing to do with my quilting obsession, but did i tell you that my betsie's boyfriend came to my house last week at 6:45 am with this in tow...?

whaaaa? i hope you can tell by the bookshelves that this thing is taller than i am, literally. what in the hell am i going to do with this? oy. 

love you. (and remember to come quilt with me!!)

revolutions...

so, i'm crushing on someone pretty good right now. but, don't tell him just yet, ok? i don't think he knows how to get to this blog... and he definitely doesn't know that i'm even writing about him. probably... i need to give it a bit more time. ugh. i'm so bad at the whole patience/dating thing. gross.

but anyways. last week swoony mcgee and i were having dinner. he kept asking me whether i had heard of this awesome local sf band, or that amazing bar/venue? had i ever eaten at the insanely delish restaurant on the corner of trendy and hipster? no. nope. none of 'em. blast, his life is so much better than mine. and apparently, i do nothing. ok, this doesn't entirely come as a surpirise... i do wake up at an ungodly hour... every week day. (that's gotta end, non?)

so... it's time. to make some resolutions. or revolutions if you live in layla-land. do not fear, they're not lose ten pounds kind of revolutions. awesome-shit-i'm-gonna-do-forever-and-ever-amen kind of revolutions. readddddyyyyyyy, ok!

oh. my. god. do stuff already. so there's a whole list of sub-revolutions that go in this pile... see music. see films. see friends. make friends. go on dates. go on bike rides. eat good food. drink good booze. (is that legit? for those last to to be on the do list...? most are trying to stop eating and stop drinking... whoops. i was never any good at following the rules anyway...). allow love in.

stop waking up at 4:30 in the morning to go to work. even 5:30 would feel fairly civilized. and 6:30? swoon.

stop worrying about the world ending. it's not going to end right? tell me it won't.

stop worrying about getting everything done before the world ends. shit.

stop worrying. or at least follow the rule that my therapist when i was seven years-old gave me... layla, you can only worry for thirty minutes per day... then you have to let it go. and stop worrying. go run around the blok. i'll be doing an awful lot of block running in 2012.


keep writing. even this blog. follow through, kiddos... i'm not always the best with it, so this is the year i'm gonna make things happen.

learn to do the worm. ya, the break-dancer-esque move. i thought it would happen in 2011... girl's gotta be realistic, improvisational... flexible. this is the year though, i can feel it.

save money. ugh.

color your hair more often, layla... no one wants to see your roots. nuff said.

that feels like enough, right? ya. that'll do. i'll keep adding. i've got lists all over the place. i've even been making a list about swoony mcgee. someone get this girl off the internet... doesn't she know she's not supposed to say stuff like that. (a girlfriend told me i'm supposed to make him pursue me... to not always be available... play it coy... huh? play?) i need a manual for this dating shit. you got one?

but even better, got any revolutions? or resolutions, as all normal humans put it? do tell!

alrighty everyone... the images are from my pinterest, here, and my pinterest... yes, i know that's sort of cheating. but if you click through on pinterest you'll get to the point of origin (well, a point of origin). it's early, and i'm already running a teensy bit late. whoops. let's all send each other amazing energy, ok? get ourselves into 2012 feeling ready. and if not ready, on our way there. you're my favorite.

it's good for you... (slash, currently listening)

elated. that's how's it's gonna be today. which is the best, yes? my good friend KPA has an office next door to my workplace. she's the boss and has a gorgeous space where she is sitting all alone. sooooo, the gorgeous gal has offered me a little office where i can come on my breaks and do things... like this. write to all of you. it's so nice to be away from that boom boom music and all of the likes and umms. hooray.

i'm thinking it'll be a weekend of being good to ourselves. tonight, iyengar yoga with some goodies of pals. last night, sushi din din with JT. tomorrow crab dinner with m. all good shit.

and it's so necessary, you know? especially in this season. when we are always distracted and oh, it's the holidays seems to be an excuse for piss-poor behavior. i'm gonna stop using that excuse this year, and get down to business. i'm making it a season of change. renew. new opportunities. (i'll be writing more, so keep your eyes peeled). and i'm buckling down to the idea of actually writing for more than just myself. putting my fingers into the freelance world. perhaps something already brewing on that front. but, if you hear of anything, send it my way, would you? (i do, actually, know how to write un-emotionally... i know, can you believe it?)

back on track... change. doing the good stuff. i'm listening to some killer tunes. literally, looked up at myself in the bathroom mirror this morning and realized i had been dancing. dance. party. dancing. again. two days in a row. la roux, you're gettin' for me.

here's the playlist:
in for the kill - la roux
i wish i was a punk rocker - sandi thom
sun of a gun - oh land
your house is my world - apparat
lover to lover - florence + the machine
only you - joshua radin
two way street - kimbra
gary song - alice smith
perfection - oh land
bulletproof - la roux
get better - mates of state (from yesterday)
fool of me - me'shell ndegeocello
paper bag - fiona apple
sugar town - nancy sinatra
tom's diner (a cappella) - suzanne vega
maps (acoustic) - yeah yeah yeahs
let him fly - patty griffin

make wonderful things for yourself and your gang this weekend, and i'll catch you on the flip (unless i'm feeling feisty, which is probable... no, inevitable, and maybe i'll write more words (with loads of new lyrics to insert) at the weekend).

have you heard of her? brilliant, and it's where i got the images for today.

dear readers...

come with me... if you have your heart open. if you aren't going to be into my girl power for the next few-hundred words, kindly move along and read me later... (however, a small disclaimer... i am riled up and writing emotionally. that's not an apology, by any means... merely a piece of information. join me!).

have you ever had your heart broken in a way that just sends you into orbit? an utter state of shock? well. here. i. am. broken. but, this is not the point of this story. for, this asshole, pitiful excuse for a human being and boyfriend deserves absolutely no more of my energy. tonight i'm gonna bury that horse in the ground. and i am not allowing myself to regret, feel ashamed of/for or be embarrassed by all of this... instead, i am remembering that i can take so much from it. remember how i want to love... the appropriate ways to treat another human... the boundaries that i can set for myself, and not be afraid that setting my limits will turn someone away, because if he turns away... and i've been a fool and i've been blind. i can never leave the past behind. then i don't want it. i. don't. want. him.

shake it out.

i want, instead, to tell you how much hope is coming back into my heart, at this very moment... i want to tell you about the outpour of support that i have received since monday afternoon. i want to tell you how thankful i am for the friends in my life. so much to tell you...

one of my favorites, with the most open heart i've ever met, sent me a text this evening reminding me that it's my heart, not his. so well put, g. oh the river, oh the river, it's running free. and i'll join in the joy it brings me. i've seen it in the flights of birds, i've seen it in you.

but, there are my other friends, the trainers at the gym, clients, the marines and the everyday pals who have all offered to hurt him physically... don't worry, i won't ask them to do that... (but i wouldn't mind it if he hurt emotionally... i'm horrible sometimes).

then there's my amazing lawyer friend who put it so succinctly... there will be no justice in this case. but in order to get to the heart, i think sometimes you have to cut through. but you can. and she's right. no matter how much i am hurting (and he knows he hurt me), he. won't. ever. care. his actions were calculated, purposeful, pre-meditated, deliberate and royally fucked-up.

just keep following the heartlines on your hand. keep it up. i know you can.

only one person has told me that she-told-me-so. told me not to give it another go. but, only one. and, truthfully, i'm a little bit thankful for her. it's helping me keep my head on straight. because she, along with everyone else in my life, have told me that they would physically hurt me, if i ever, even for a split second, considered allowing him back into my life. thank my gods and goddesses for these people, i'm serious.

and i'm also serious when i say that sometimes, i am an awful person. and for reasons that i will not divulge (again, he gets no more of my energy) i did not tell my mom or dad that we had gotten back together, oh ya, this was round three for us. i blatantly lied. to both of them. (probably, that dishonesty was a part of my broken heart). but, on the advice of some super savy ladies, i called big red yesterday and came clean. about. everything. when i told her what he did, she cried for me. your heart is the only place that i call home. (she also wants to make a vodou doll and hurt him, physically. the woman is amazing). but, in the end, she thanked me for telling her and told me how wonderful i am, just as a mother is meant to do. i tell you, big red read her mothering handbook backwards and forwards. memorized the shit out of that thing.

as i came home from work tonight, flo on full blast (the first time i've listened to music since monday), i couldn't help but smile. maybe it's my neighborhood... but, i'd like to think that everyone was with me... walking with me, telling me to keep my head high. that it really is my heart, not his. i smiled at everyone holding hands. i smiled at all the bun-head students on muni leaving the san francisco ballet. i smiled at the woman who almost ran me over with her bike cause she was checkin' out some foxy lady. i smiled at the homeless kiddos in front of the market... they smiled back the hardest.

just keep following the heartlines on your hand. keep it up. i know you can.

so. hey, universe. and hey, friends... thank you. i could not ask for anything more from you. your texts to make sure i am ok. your calls. your smiles in passing. i am grateful. keep sharing it. with everyone you know. we are so lucky to be human sometimes... when we get to share our lives with one another and rally with each other. and love each other, respectfully. and honestly. thank you times one-hundred million.

just keep following the heartlines on your hand. keep it up. 

'cause i am.

words by florence + the machine. these ones from shake it out and these from heartlines... both on ceremonials. love that flo... maybe it's the red hair (soul-sisters)... but if you haven't listened to heartlines yet, do it. it's got chanting and xena-style war whoops, a bass line that makes. me. move. oh, and thanks for being in my life. i adore you. moving bodies found here and here.

i'm up...

... wayyyy past my bedtime, again. but this city is always alive. maybe it's just my neighborhood. but, always, the sound of a car, someone laughing on the phone, tipsy people walking/tumbling past my door. but the energy is good. it gives me so much hope for life. which, i love. i need.

grandpa jim is going to a new home. for the first time in 35 years he will not spend his night-nights on katherine avenue, but at a nursing home in burbank. big red says it's for the best. i trust that.

so, all of the positive thinking and good juju that you have been sending me has been working. thank you. and this city is constantly giving me more. and i'm happier than i've been in a while. part of that feels counter-intuitive, when i know that my family is in a bit of chaos. but, i think my mom and grandpa jim would want it this way.

i've been riding my bike again. so much more in the past few weeks. using my body again. dancing. keeping my heart active and full.

i received a letter last week. in print, and on paper. it's sent my word into orbit, but in a good way. has taken my mind off of the family stuff. allowed me to be a visceral thinker. whole body thoughts. he described me in a way that i didn't know another person could. kind words and (cross your fingers) honest ones. i promise i'l share more later.

for now, i've just gotta throw these words into the universe so that i remember them.

saying yes is good.

love is the best.

hope you all say both, a lot over the weekend. i will.

just before i hit publish... voices outside my window screaming i love you i love you. moving bodies found here and here.

all the sand in all the sea.

this video moves me. physically and viscerally. my heart rate changes when i hear it. and even though the last time i saw devotchka live, i had had one (or seven) too many whiskey drinks, i remember how it made me feel. unreal. i predict you will like it too. here's the part that always gets me...

speaking of brill. have i told you about my new pal TH? he's a real genius. and, i know i throw that word around just i like i do glitter, but i think that on the charts that measure this kind of stuff... he's an actual genius.

well in the last few weeks i've had several ridiculous conversations with TH, but also a few convos with JT about the TH chats, am i confusing you? go with me. (btdubs... did i mention that the two of them are uncannily twin-like. dopplegangers like i've never seen before. ugh. swoon till next tuesday).

i have been telling those two boys for weeks that they have to meet and stare at each other because, 1. they would think that i had put a mirror in front of them and 2. they are both awesome and would have insane conversations. probably, i would just stare and swoon at them as they talk about equity accelerators, geothermal plants, nietzsche, drugs and bikes. waiting for the drums to kick in, you want to free your earthbound limbs. i'll pop in for a head nod or an 'mmmm hmmm.'

i am gonna count to three. then you are leaving here with me.

TH is an exceptional wizard, a math-guy. (don't ever tell him i said that. he doesn't like to think of himself that way) but he thinks very analytically. and quickly. he's the reasonable one in the group. he's got an answer to everything... but not an answer like i would come up with... just go upside down, get your ass over your head and tell the universe what you need. it'll come to you... he's a real decision-maker. (i've asked him to be available to me at all times so that he can make all of my decisions that i don't want to make and then rile me up).

JT is a thinker. majored in philosophy. could sit for eighteen hours and think about all of the possibilities for as many things as he could come up with. perhaps, never finding an answer, but falling in love with nine-hundred thoughts. and then if someone else makes a decision involving him, he'll run with that too... be in every moment.

and me. ? i think with my kinesphere. with my visceral sphere. most of the time i cannot remember the details of our exact conversation, but i can sure as shit remember how it made me feel. i think slowly and choose the words that i want to say as though it were specific choreography. but, then sometimes i forget about all that and start shouting my feelings out loud with no filter at all. oy. i'm a handful. often. and at best. 

so the three of us together? i think it will be magic. i will be crushed if it isn't. remind me to never ever tell either of them that i want to make-out with their brains. whoops. it's all in place. it's all laid out. as we speak, it's going down. MC will keep me on track... i hope. 

i'm trying (ugh, allowing.. ?) to post on a regular basis. not ten posts in one night. seeing that i use this online universe to procrastinate... i have begun procrastinating my procrastination. i have read through the entire archives of two entire blogs. oy, probably, that should not be said aloud ever again. more on those later... because we know, i will speak of it again, and, in fact, write an entire post about it. some pics from amaze-ball tumblrs here and here.

Contact...

There's a lot going on these days. I spent the last 24 hours sitting with a friend. Just sitting... sometimes laying. But, we just existed together, human contact. He's detoxing at the moment and needed to be near another person. And I was lucky enough to be that person. (That's not sarcastic, btw).

But, it reminds me how smart our bodies can be. On a cellular level, they are brilliant geniuses. Always fighting to keep us healthy and to get the toxins out.

Sitting with AK also reminded me how powerful human contact is. Skin to skin or even just one body in close proximity to another. When I took a brief seminar in Movement /Dance Therapy in grad school we discussed the value of just sitting with someone. One part of your body touching his/hers. There's that brilliant scene in Little Miss Sunshine when Dwayne finds out he is color-blind. He melts. Color blind folk can't fly planes So, Olive, his sister, sits next to him. Head on his shoulder. No words exchanged. Just contact. Recovery begins.

So my dears, put some human contact into your lives this week. It's a beautiful thing... whether you realize you need it or not, my guess is you'll be happy when you've got it.